Annoying the Warriors
by Faeyre
Summary: Basically annoying the Warriors cats, I got the idea from someone else. Rated T to be safe. There are so many possible cats to make fun of!
1. Introduction

Annoying the Warriors cats! Let me know if something is wrong, or any suggestions for further annoyances. Also any suggestions for more characters to annoy. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this!


	2. Sandstorm

Sorry Sandstorm but you just had to be annoyed first

1\. Tell her Firestar is breaking up with her.

2\. Then say Firestar would rather be with a dead medicine cat than someone as horrible as she is.

3\. Say that her battle skills are no better than an apprentice's

Seriously, I need more ideas!


	3. Annoying Sandstorm with Annoyingkit

So…. IN ACTION!

Annoying Sandstorm

Super-duper-extremely -sneaky-but-obnoxious-and-annoying-kit (Annoyingkit) read the list of instructions left in a tree he had been sleeping in.

 _Hmm…_ he thought.

Updated list

1\. Paint her fur pink so she can't hunt very well, plus it will be all sticky and disgusting

2\. Tell her Firestar would rather be with a dead medicine cat than her – and he could be breaking up but he's not going to tell her

3\. Tell her her hunting skills are the worst – even a kit that had just opened its eyes could probably hunt better than her!

Annoyingkit padded up to Sandstorm. "Sandstorm," he mewed. "Did you know that Firestar would rather be with a dead medicine cat than you? Yesterday night I heard him mutter in his sleep, 'Spottedleaf' over and over and he sounded so pleased! In fact, later on he seemed to say 'breaking up' but I didn't stay to listen more."

Sandstorm looked outraged. "I'm going to take a quick nap, then go hunting…"

After checking that his mother was sleeping, Annoyingkit set out to find his supplies.

A few minutes later Annoyingkit managed to acquire some bright pink paint and a large brush. He snuck into the warrior's den without anyone noticing his bucket of paint or paintbrush (well he was quite the sneaky cat), took his time to paint Sandstorm thoroughly (don't ask how no one noticed, maybe they were all sleeping or hunting or patrolling), added a few brilliant neon green designs of dogs, and snuck back out. By the time Sandstorm woke up, all the paint had dried and her fur was all stuck together. Annoyingkit had used his whole bucket of paint and had managed to paint fifteen layers of paint (…).

"WHO DID THIS!" a really loud and pissed off Sandstorm literally screamed. Annoyingkit was pretending to sleep, but the shouting woke up his mother, Sneeryface (yeah they have such cool names, huh), his sisters Frostkit and Icykit, and his brother Coldkit. They had not opened their eyes yet, so they could not join in the fun. _Poor siblings!_ Annoyingkit thought sadly. Maybe when they could see Annoyingkit could lead them to find another list!

Annoyingkit pretended to wake up. He faked a yawn. Annoyingkit looked at his siblings. Frostkit had opened her eyes! Annoyingkit was overjoyed.

"Frostkit!" he called. "Want to come hunt with me and Sandstorm?"

Well hunting sounded fun, thought Frostkit. She agreed to come with her brother

Then they padded out of the nursery, blinking at the sun and looking for a certain bright pink cat. "Sandstorm?" he mewed. "Can we go hunting? You said that you were going to hunt, so I decided I want to come along!"

Sandstorm obviously was not the lying type, so she said, "Okay. After I wash this horrid pink and green mess off of me. Why don't you and Frostkit come with me to the river?"

Annoyingkit and Frostkit followed Sandstorm to the stream. The two kits were constantly looking at their surroundings, especially Frostkit, who was glad she had opened her eyes. A pink cat! Frostkit was absolutely sure it was the work of her brother though…

After washing for fifteen minutes there was still thirteen and a half layers of paint left. Annoyingkit went up to Sandstorm and said, "I bet my sister, who has recently opened her eyes, can hunt WAY better than you can. Why don't you have a hunting contest to see if I am right?"

"Fine," Sandstorm agreed. "Then I can finish washing this off."

Sandstorm's pink paint coat warned all the prey before she could do anything, so she only managed to get a mouse.

Frostkit, on the other hand, seemed to be a natural hunter and caught two birds and a squirrel.

"Wow Frostkit, I never knew you could be so good!" Annoyingkit praised his sister.

"Well I guess Sandstorm could do better if she didn't have that pink paint," Frostkit mewed.

Sandstorm was also impressed with Frostkit's natural hunting abilities, but she didn't let the kits know. Instead she told Firestar (even though she was kind of mad at him dreaming about Spottedleaf), and they decided that they should test Sneerface's kits on hunting because their hunting abilities might be genetic.

(that was rather short but awesome right?)


	4. Cloudtail

Sure this is horribly short but whatever

Annoying Cloudtail (and maybe some other cats too)

1\. Wave a bag of kittypet food in his face and ask if he wants some (courtesy of a guest – come on, don't be shy sign up for fanfiction!)

2\. Put a ghost costume on him (go to the Twoleg place and find a 'shop')

3\. Put kittypet food in Firestar's den and make the blame shift to Cloudtail

4\. Put kittypet food in the prey pile (that's what it's called right?)


	5. Annoying Cloudtail with Annoyingkit &CO

Annoying Cloudtail (and some other cats) in action!

Annoyingkit and his three siblings were out hunting (what they were natural hunters). Coldkit's eyes had been open for a week now. The only reason why they went today was because Frostkit had a feeling that a list would be near the lake.

Icykit congratulated Annoyingkit again.

"Remember (ummm half a moon? Quarter moon? Yikes I forgot what a week was so…) last week you painted Sandstorm's fur all pink? It was so funny!"

Icykit and Coldkit knew because they had opened their eyes in time to go down to the river and see Sandstorm washing off the last three layers of pink paint."

"Glad all the _dog_ designs are off," was all they could hear her say.

The four kits giggled at this memory. Frostkit had just caught and buried a very nice squirrel when she noticed a small piece of paper under a bush. "Icykit! Coldkit! I found a list!"

Annoyingkit finished burying his mouse, padded over, and asked, "What does it say? Which cat is it this time?"

Frostkit read the list. "It says … Cloudtail!"

"Oh him?" Icykit asked excitedly. "I'll bet there's something about kittypet food!"

"There is," Coldkit said, reading the list over Frostkit's shoulder.

1\. Wave a bag of kittypet food in his face and ask if he wants some

2\. Put a ghost costume on him (go to the Twoleg place and find a 'shop')

3\. Put kittypet food in Firestar's den and make the blame shift to Cloudtail

4\. Put kittypet food in the fresh-kill pile

"Muahahahahaha!" the kits laughed evilly. Who knew? They were nice kits but they had an evil laugh.

"Frostkit and I can go to Twolegplace for the kittypet food," Annoyingkit said. He was the leader because he was the oldest and the best at annoying cats.

"Coldkit can find out a time when Cloudtail is sleeping or napping because he seems the most truthful," Annoyingkit continued. "I wonder… maybe a ghost costume is scary! I want a dog costume though. That would be better."

The other three kits gave meows of agreement.

"And Icykit," Annoyingkit finished. "You can get the dog costume. You are probably the sneakiest out of all of us! Let's meet here at sunhigh."

Annoyingkit, Frostkit, and Icykit didn't take their prey back on purpose. Coldkit did because he was going back and if he didn't have prey it would be suspicious. Then they all went their separate directions.

The three kits climbed a tree and began jumping from tree to tree like squirrels. Maybe that was also an inherited gene because they had heard stories of their mom doing the same. The sneaky genes came from their dad, Sneakyfoot. After reaching Twolegplace, they found their destinations quite easily. Frostkit and Annoyingkit snatched a lot of kittypet food, somehow holding it while running away, and Icykit grabbed a small dog costume. The dog costume was basically a dog face mask, and a lot of paint.

The kits jumped back and met Coldkit back at their planned destination.

"Coldkit, found any times Cloudtail will be sleeping?" Annoyingkit asked.

"Of course he is going to sleep right now!" Coldkit said. "Let's bury the kittypet food and let's go!" The kits ran back with dog costume equipment, catching a few squirrels on the way.

"Thanks," their grandpa on their dad's side, Nightfoot, because he snuck out at night, was out eating. He was an elder but he believed he should at least get the fresh-kill himself. Nightfoot whispered to the kits, "Sure you might think you are sneaky but so am I, I can see what you are going to do."

"You won't tell?" the kits pleaded.

"Of course not, I used to do the same myself! When you are done with your sneakiness, which I see was inherited from me, come to the elder's den and listen to my stories."

"Thanks!" the kits snuck into the warrior's den quietly. Icykit had the dog face mask because she had gotten it. Annoyingkit had dog fur colored paint and a large brush. Coldkit had some slightly darker paint and a smaller brush. Frostkit had some black paint and another brush. Again, they somehow did their job (they were talented painters!) quickly, quietly, and pretty awesomely without anyone noticing. Finally the three kits snuck out and hurried to the nursery while Icykit put the mask on carefully, then she ran off to the nursery too.

When Cloudtail woke up…

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" everyone in the warrior's den screamed. Cloudkit because his fur felt all weird, the other cats because Cloudkit looked so much like a dog.

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight (Squirellfright, haha) ran out of the den screaming "Dog! Dog!" the other warriors ran out, closely followed by the 'dog'. "It's chasing us! Help! Firestar! Dog!" they randomly yelled.

Firestar came out to see what the commotion was about. Even the kits Annoyingkit, Icykit, Frostkit, Coldkit, Thornkit, Sharpkit, and Spikekit were out.

The seven kits had all fallen down meow-laughing.

"Mrow! Did you see that?" Spikekit was saying. "A dog!"

"Doesn't look like one too much," Sharpkit said, because she had sharp eyes. "It looks like paint."

The other kits were only one moon older than our sneaky family.

Many cats were screaming now, mostly at the sentry because he didn't see the 'dog' entering their camp.

"Calm down!" Cloudtail was trying to say after he realized he was covered with paint and some thing over his face. "I think this was a prank! It's the same sticky substance like the one that was on Sandstorm!"

Sadly, the kits had painted thirty layers of paint, not fifteen.

Firestar managed to pull the mask off Cloudtail with the help of Pricklyfoot, Spikekit's father.

"Why don't you go to the stream and wash it off?" Sneeryface asked.

"No, maybe we should scare the other clans!" Thornkit and Frostkit exclaimed simultaneously.

The other kits were all nodding enthusiastically, but Firestar wouldn't let them.

"Come on," Spikekit muttered to Coldkit. "It's not fun when you can't scare other cats!"

"That's true," Coldkit whispered back.

The next day, Cloudtail was clean again after washing for the whole night. Icykit had gone and brought back a can of kittypet food. When Cloudtail returned from the stream at dawn, Coldkit jumped out of a tree, startling Cloudtail. Then Coldkit waved the can of kittypet food in front of Cloudtail's face.

"Hey," Coldkit taunted. "Want some?"

Cloudtail meowed angrily and stormed off as best as a cat can.

Icykit jumped down next. "Haha! Cloudtail is scared of kittypet food! This is so funny!"

Cloudtail just growled but then Annoyingkit cried, "And he growls like a dog! Maybe he is a dog in cat disguise!"

Cloudtail finally left… grumbling at these annoying kits.

When it was almost dark the kits climbed a tree to discuss their plans. "We should put kittypet food in the fresh-kill pile next!" Frostkit suggested. She and Annoyingkit jumped from tree to tree until she found the place where the kittypet food was buried. They quickly grabbed as much as they could carry, then they climbed back up. Quietly, the kits hurried back to camp, avoiding the sentry with some secret paths their grandpa had told them about. Icykit, the sneakiest cat, dumped almost all the kittypet food into the fresh-kill pile and even mixed it thoroughly. Then she took the remaining can and snuck into Firestar's den. She put it all over him, then she went into the warrior's den, put the empty can into Cloudtail's paws, and then she rushed off like a ninja.

The next morning the four sneaky kits were found sleeping with their mother like nothing had happened. An early riser, Hollyleaf, was screaming, and it woke everyone up.

"Kittypet food in the fresh-kill pile!" She repeated. Then she climbed into Firestar's den because his den was soundproof.

"Firestar there is kittypet food in the – on you!" she cried, horrified.

Meanwhile, the warriors were all shouting. Cloudtail was the only one who had not woken up yet.

"Cloudtail, how could you?" several warriors asked.

"What…" Cloudtail asked groggily. Then he saw the empty can and the angry expressions of all the other cats.

"Cloudtail, why did you dump it in the fresh-kill pile?" Sandstorm asked.

"Cloudtail, why did you dump it on me?" Firestar asked.

"WHAT!" the other warriors (and apprentices, who were in the warrior's den) shouted. "Cloudtail! You traitor!"

"It wasn't me," Cloudtail tried to explain.

"How could it not be you?" Brambleclaw asked.

"You're the one with the empty can," Squirrelflight agreed.

"I was sleeping the whole time!" Cloudtail practically yelled.

"Okay, let's have a debate! Leafpool can be judge," Firestar said because he was going weird from the smell of too much kittypet food.

"Um, okay, but a debate between cats hasn't happened since never," Ferncloud said thoughtfully.

"Never mind never!" Firestar exclaimed. "We're having one now. Cloudtail, who do you suspect?"

"Um…"

"How about everyone explain why they aren't guilty?" a semi-crazy Firestar asked excitedly.

"Okay…" everyone agreed.

"We will be having our debate after the next full moon! Everyone will have plenty of time to prepare their argument! Except Leafpool; she will be judge."

Everyone meowed a 'yes' because how else were they supposed to respond to your clan-leader-acting-weird? Boldly stand up and confront him? No one was brave enough for fear that they would be told off as guilty.

SURE THIS WAS A BIT LONG and I at first thought it was the 'prey pile' because I haven't read Warriors in a while. Then I was trying to find possible enemies of Cloudtail (any ideas?) so yeah! :)

\- Snape Fan 101


	6. Jayfeather

Annoying Jayfeather list!  
1\. Bring his stick and say" Jayfeather! I painted your stick rainbow"  
2\. Tomorrow, say that nothing happened then throw it into the lake  
3\. Tell him half moon like Jay's wing not him  
4\. Tell him he's not jay's wing  
5\. Find a rogue and tell him to be mates with Briarlight  
6\. Mess up his herb piles  
7\. Paint his nest pink and blue  
8\. Show everyone

(All courtesy of Melodicforniaroll)

 **So right now I am working on two stories: This one and The American Half-Blood Association.**

 **Monday-Thursday: Annoying the Warriors (post on Friday once every two weeks)**

 **Friday-Sunday: American Half-Blood Association (post on Sunday once a week)**

 **Stay tuned for an update in three days!**


	7. Jayfeather goes insane

**I really need to set a time frame. I think I want it so Jayfeather still has his stick… I still have to read Dawn of the Clans and the New Prophecy and the new series… (SPOILER ALERT: Unfortunately Annoyingkit will find a time machine in the near future)**

Yup. Annoyingkit again!

 **A week (moon, half-moon, whatever) after the previous list.**

Annoyingkit and his siblings were at the lake, splashing each other with water because they found it funny. Suddenly ( **Yes I use that word too much** ), Icykit stumbled over a (waterproof) note tied to a stick.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Wait, this looks like a note," she mewed.

Instantly, Annoyingkit sat up from rolling in the mud. "Note? Like, _note_ note?"

"What else would I be mentioning?"

The kits gathered around the note excitedly. They were wondering about the stick though.

"So it says

1\. Paint Jayfeather's stick (we have graciously provided it with this note) rainbow (we have hidden all sorts of paint and brushes in –secret location cannot be mentioned to the readers-.

2\. Tomorrow, say that nothing happened then throw it into the lake."

"HAHAHA!" the kits burst out laughing (and did not hear a nearby voice laughing too).

"3. Tell him Half Moon likes Jay's Wing not him – "

"Wait who is that?" Coldkit asked.

Annoyingkit shrugged (do cats shrug? No? Whatever). "Who cares? Half Moon is probably important because the cat making these lists seems to read minds!"

"How do you know it's a cat?" Frostkit challenged. "It could be some other animal."

"Well I don't think any other animals are smart enough, except maybe Twolegs, and they seem kind of dumb," a voice mewed.

~~~A really long awkward silence~~~

"THORNKIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Frostkit screeched.

"Uh, I was bored?" Thornkit asked, padding out of the nearby bushes. "I'm just saying, this sound like fun! Can you read the rest of the list?"

"Okay.

4\. Tell him he's not Jay's Wing."

"Who is that anyways?"

"Well I found this," Thornkit mewed, bringing out a scroll. So the kits unrolled it and somehow read it. They figured out Half Moon and Jay's Wing stuff, including the 'Jayfeather goes back in time' type stuff. (Basically, it is Jayfeather's point of view during those books. How they read so fast, I don't know. How they can even read, I don't know either.)

"Cool! See, it says that it was because of the stick! And they used to live at the same lake!"

Simultaneously the cats looked at the lake.

"Number five. Find a rogue and tell him to be mates with Briarlight."

"OOOOOOOH! But what if Briarlight doesn't agree? She probably won't want to be mates with a rogue…"

Thornkit suggested, "Tell Jayfeather a lie then?"

"Okay," Coldkit said. "Next

6\. Mess up his herb piles

7\. Paint his nest pink and blue

8\. Show everyone"

"I'm not sure about showing everyone though," Annoyingkit mewed thoughtfully. "Then we would be caught!"

"I have an idea!" Frostkit mewed excitedly. "We could pretend to go in and look for Jayfeather, pretend to stumble upon messy herbs and a… colorful nest, and start yelling in surprise."

"Great idea!" Annoyingkit congratulated. "So Coldkit and Icykit can go to this secret place, bring the stick and paint it. Then we can throw it into the lake! Thornkit, you can tell him that his stick is painted rainbow, and you can also tell him that Briarlight is mating with a rogue."

"Frostkit, you can tell him that he really is not Jay's Wing and some lies of your choice, then you can cone with me and mess up the medicine cat den! I will go with Icykit and Coldkit for some pink and blue paint."

The cats prepared for their respective tasks. "Ready?" Coldkit asked. "YAY! We need a team motto though." the other cats mewed (at the same time). They had already painted the stick.

Annoyingkit, Coldkit, Frostkit, and Icykit hid themselves so they would have a clear view of the camp (and be able to hear the commotion). Thornkit found Jayfeather at the prey pile.

"Jayfeather? I'm not sure about this, but I heard you had a stick and I found a stick that looked exactly like it painted rainbow!"

…

"MY STICK!"

"Then I also heard that Briarlight is secretly mating with a rogue," he added.

"WHAAAAT! I'm going to the lake to check on my stick. BYE."

The five kits ran out of camp so fast they reached the lake ten minutes before Jayfeather.

"For our big ceremony!" Annoyingkit mewed gleefully.

"One, two, three!" all five kits hurled the stick as far as they could together. The stick almost reached the Riverclan and Windclan border.

"Aw, close!" Frostkit sighed. "Let's go back now!"

They started home in time to hear Jayfeather exclaim, "MY STICK! NOOOO WHERE IS IT?!"

Obviously the kits laughed quietly.

After gathering pink and blue paint Frostkit and Annoyingkit painted Jayfeather's nest pink and blue. Then they messed up the herb piles.

"I remember the death berries were over here," Frostkit mewed, placing it with a remedial herb.

Annoyingkit just pulled all of the other herbs, put it in a big pile, and jumped around in it. Then they came back out, and Annoyingkit washed himself in the river to erase evidence.

The kits met in front of the nursery. "Plan part two in action!"

Frostkit walked up to the medicine cat den, calling 'Jayfeather?' as she went. She poked her head inside, then started screeching loudly. "AAAAH! Pink and blue nests! What happened to Jayfeather's sanity? All the herbs are in a giant pile!"

Cats started rushing out of dens. "Where is he anyways?" Lionblaze asked. "I saw him leave camp," a warrior mewed back.

Just then Jayfeather returned from the lake. "What is the commotion about?"

"Your nest is pink and blue," Firestar mewed calmly.

"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOO! MY STICK _AND_ MY NEST?"

"Well, I also heard your herbs were in a giant pile," Firestar mewed calmly (again).

"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOO! MY STICK, MY NEST _AND_ MY HERBS?"

"Yes," all the cats at camp mewed simultaneously. Then they all started crowding into the medicine cat den to have a look. When they were all inside…

"Jayfeather? You're actually not Jay's Wing and Half Moon likes Jay's Wing, not you," Frostkit mewed. "In fact, you probably were hallucinating from eating the wrong herb, or maybe it was poisoned prey."

"GREAT. MY LIFE SUCKS," Jayfeather muttered.


End file.
